Dear Therapist: My Wifes Sister Touched Me Inappropriately

Her behavior I express my discomfort toward me crossed the line, and my wife doesnt take my concerns seriously when.

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Dear Therapist,

After some duration for a few years ago I married a wonderful woman after living with her. I’m a guy during my 70s, and my spouse is really a several years older than me personally. She’s got a mature cousin that is on the 3rd wedding and it has a reputation in my own wifes family members if you are flirtatious and intensely manipulative. She’s got been residing far from us and visits three to four times per year.

My sister-in-law never paid any unusual awareness of me personally until we married. But from then on, every right time she visited, she’d single me personally away for compliments, saying I became cute and looking for reasons why you should touch me personally. As an example: Your hair can be so pretty. I’d like to touch it. That progressed to putting a supply around my arms and then coming as much as me personally and placing both hands around my throat while dealing with me personally. We never ever provided her any support or good effect.

Because a few of these things happened along with other family unit members around, I didn’t feel at her or push her away like I could snap. Wef only I had discovered an approach to quietly inform her that she ended up being making me personally uncomfortable and get her to please stop, but I happened to be nevertheless not used to your family and not certain of myself using them. Additionally, she appears to have my partner emotionally bound to her to the level that my partner gets mad at the slightest criticism of her sis. My spouse appears to alternate between being intimidated by her cousin and feeling as though she’s to guard her.

we made the decision I might just remain away from my sister-in-laws means the maximum amount of as feasible. This worked until one when she was in our home to celebrate a birthday with her daughter and granddaughter night. By the end for the night, my spouse wandered them into the home while we stayed sitting when you look at the family area, relieved to own prevented contact.

A couple of seconds later on I sensed somebody standing near me personally. When I turned around, my wifes cousin bent over me personally, grabbed me personally around my throat with one supply, place her other side back at my upper body, stuck her face into my shoulder, and kissed me personally as far down on my throat as she might get. My spouse would not see just what took place. I was angry after I got over being stunned and feeling really creeped out.

Once I reported to my spouse, she failed to appear surprised making some feeble excuses, ending in Well thats my sister. She has refused to confront her sis about that if not request a reason. She actually is worried that this could change her relationship along with her sis. She now claims that her sister didnt mean such a thing in what she did, and appears to be attempting to blame me personally if you are offended.

The latest twist in this is certainly that my sister-in-law along with her husband are going right here and can live about 10 kilometers away. My partner understands the way I feel, but she actually is excited and intends to invest a complete great deal of the time along with her cousin. This continues to bother me personally, and I also have actually a lot less interest and enthusiasm in my wedding.

Have always been we overreacting? I believe that my sister-in-laws actions had been rude, disrespectful, indecent, and calculated resulting in difficulty. just just What she did normally considered attack into the state where we reside.

We figure We have actually many choices: Keep hoping to get right through to my spouse and break this hold her cousin has me; talk to her husband; threaten to go to the police; let it go but keep my distance; or some combination of these things on her; try to get my sister-in-law to explain her actions to.

I’d quite definitely appreciate your ideas with this.